I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
