Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
