Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
no more duck duck goose at the bar
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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