I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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