I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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