As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
