it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
