I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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