i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
