So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
