I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize