Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
