fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
