So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
