Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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