we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
