Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
