I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize