I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
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Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
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Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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