obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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