Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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