Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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