Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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