people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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