And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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