maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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