Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
