I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
