Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
