i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
