She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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