summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
