Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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