we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
