i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My vagina just recognized that song.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
