I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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