Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
