I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
