yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
