Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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