Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
