u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
