I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
