I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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