the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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