i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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