Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
