My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
