This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
