Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
