so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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