You work out of a Hotel?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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