the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
