I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
