apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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