You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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