we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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