You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
